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Many of my clients lament their stories of getting to the second stage of dating, only to have the romantic rug pulled out from under them.

You know the story – you meet, connect, have a few great conversations, maybe a kiss or two and before you know it you’re ‘seeing each other’.

Now, as a psychologist and dating coach I have regular conversations with my clients about this very topic and it’s great to draw on both personal experience and professional industry intelligence.

It occurred to us that we could keep the excitement and variety, and still let ourselves fall in love with each other. And since then I’ve gotten a lot of questions about how we make it work and why we would even do that in the first place.

I get that it can be hard for a lot of people to understand.

As the light, casual conversations start to move into deeper, heavier topics, all of a sudden you’re discussing joint holidays and meeting each other’s parents. People who have commitment issues generally have a serious problem in staying in a relationship for the long-term.

Just as the excitement grows, your date starts to pull away, becomes distant and unavailable and next thing you know, they’ve done a Phantom and you’re out in the cold. While they still experience love like anyone else, the feelings can be more intense and scary than they are for most people.

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